CHOOSING TO CHANGE

Choosing to Change is a programme for men who have been emotionally and/or physically abusive in their relationships with women, and who wish to end these behaviours and begin to develop a respectful and equal relationship. This programme is designed to respond to the needs of men who self-refer or who are referred by the Catholic Children's Aid Society, the Children's Aid Society or other social service agencies. The programme does not accept men with pre-adjudicated cases before the criminal court. There must be some level of acknowledged responsibility for abusive and/or violent behaviours, as well as a willingness to change. This programme invites men to examine their relationship preferences and their behaviours, the abusive behaviours that have hindered them in reaching those relationship goals, and encourages a fundamental change in direction if they are to develop the non-abusive relationships which they desire.

OBJECTIVES:

• to promote the safety of women by ending all forms of abusive behaviours;
• to take responsibility for their abusive behaviours and to identify restraints to personal responsibility (i.e. the defenses of blame, denial, minimization, etc.);
• to identify, examine and challenge belief systems that support the concept of male domination over women;
• to examine and acknowledge the impact of their abusive behaviours on their partners;
• to demonstrate and commit to a relationship that is based on the principles of mutual respect, partnership, active listening, negotiation, constructive communication.